Illegal Smile

When I woke up this morning, things were looking bad
It seemed like total silence was the only friend I had
A bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down and won
And it was 12 o'clock before I realized I was having no fun
Ah, but fortunately, I have the key to escape reality.

And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun

Last time I checked my bankroll, it was gettin' thin
Sometimes it seems like the bottom is the only place I've been
I chased a rainbow down a one-way street, dead end,
And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen
Ah, but fortunately, I have the key to escape reality.

I went into my closet with all my overalls
Tryin' to get away from all the ears inside my walls.
Suppose the police heard everything I thought: What then?
Well, I went to court and the judge's name was Hoffman
Ah, but fortunately, I have the key to escape reality.

John Prine